I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
