Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
