Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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