I smell stomach acid.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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