So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
