I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
