You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
