so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
