He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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