***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
