my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
