So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
