in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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