So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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