hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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