The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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