he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
