Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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