Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
