Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
