I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
