Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
