To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
