sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
