p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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