I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
