Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We won't sleep together?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
