So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
