Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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