It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
