Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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