the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
