I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
