I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
