Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
