My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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