Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
