i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
