Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
