Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
