therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
