Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
