With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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