his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
