addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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