i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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