u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
