Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
