we have officially mastered the walk of shame
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
