So drunk its hurt
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
