i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
