You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
